Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? And More Importantly, How?

I had been warned that crossing the roads of Amman was not for the faint hearted. Guidebooks and fellow travellers alike cautioned that leaving the footpath is like stepping off a precipice into utter chaos and potential destruction. Which is, at first, how it seems. Multi-lane highways have faded zebra stripes that are largely ignored by the drivers of Amman; the little green man is a scarcity so far seen only in the downtown area, and even when in evidence, by no means provides the pedestrian with a mandate for safe passage.

Your taxi will, inevitably, drop you on the side of the road opposite to your intended destination. He will likely pull up nowhere near a traffic light or even a pedestrian friendly intersection. There will be traffic cops stationed nearby who are dressed for business, but are waving feebly and trying to avoid being run over themselves.

Now here's the secret to negotiating all these perilous roads for both pedestrians and drivers alike. Keep your wits about you, use hand gestures and eye contact where possible, and just have faith that no Arab wants to dirty their windscreen with the blood of the infidel and be denied their virgins when the green bird flies up, up and away. Just put one foot in front of the other, and you'll be fine.

You see, these drivers expect the unexpected. They're not in the least bit surprised see a cab cross three lanes of traffic to turn right in the space of ten meters. It's no big deal if hubby stops dead in the middle lane of a highway to drop his wife off for her eyebrow wax at the salon across the road. They know that even though the sign indicates 'No U-Turn' , there will probably be a three lane formation of cars doing just that. And on top of that, they're probably all puffing away on a Rothmans unfiltered, and having a good old chin-wag on their mobile phones. All the while gesticulating wildly.

This does not make them bad drivers- in fact, they have demonstrated much better spacial awareness than Western drivers, who wouldn't even see you if you stepped out in front of their moving vehicle (come on, we've all seen those ads).

So don't be a chicken. Cross that road. And, if you're feeling a little nervous, I've found it helps to take a deep breath and say loudly, 'Ok Mother-Fuckers, here I come!'.